Aging as a Privilege

In my 9-5 work I study aging. Most of this work revolves around maintaining health and staying disease (and pill) free through the aging process. Specifically, I study healthy aging in people who take care of themselves. These are people who eat well, exercise, have moderate levels of stress, had a rewarding career and/or family life, and are enjoyable to be around. These are people who do not have chronic disease…some of the few that escape early heart disease, obesity, or diabetes. They are difficult to find and once we do, we try to develop a long-term relationship and follow them for years. It is extremely rewarding to learn from them.

With this type of work, there is still a lot of complaining…by the older individuals who come in for studies and the young people who compare their results across the years. In the popular media, everyone is worried about aging too quickly and if a celebrity dares to “embrace” aging, they get a full article spread in a magazine. So much marketing, particularly for women, is directed at looking younger and defying age. I was struck by an comment from Candice Bergen in which she states: “It is a privilege to get old.” This type of thinking is much different than embracing aging. Being okay with aging is different than feeling that you are privileged to experience something that not everyone does. How much of Mrs. Bergen’s positive thinking and gratitude has a direct effect on her health and well-being?

This statement particularly struck me as I care for my terminally-ill father. Cancer is causing his body to fail, while his mind is still sharp and his hair is not yet grey. Cancer has left him with skin and bones and eyes that sometimes can’t comprehend that this body is his own. He will not experience the privilege of growing old, enjoying retirement with my mom, or becoming a grandpa. My sisters and I will never see him become an old man. He would do literally anything for the privilege to age. But he never complains. He sings and laughs and gives people a smirk. He was one of those people that I study…those that eat well, live well, exercise, have a rewarding family and social life. He was one of those people until the cancer.

I am forced to look at my life…what would I do and what would I say if I didn’t know I would wake up the next day? How would my life be transformed if I felt privileged to experience the crow’s feet and gradual softening of my belly? I imagine it would be like traveling…although the seats are not that different, being in the back of the plane is a distinctly different experience than being upgraded to first class. You feel special and welcomed. It shifts the entire traveling experience, from something stressful to something exciting.